White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
