I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
this boner is exhausting
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
