I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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