You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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