after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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