The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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