Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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