all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
