...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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