my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you win again, gameday.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
