he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
