Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
