his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
