You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
