We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize