Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
