Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My feet surprised me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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