Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
