you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Text me some of your sweat
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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