my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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