all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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