I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
