Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
