Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
