There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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