just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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