how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
