I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
