i already hear my dad disowning me
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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