Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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