That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
