We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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