Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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