shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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