wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Randomize
