i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
