Kareoke will never be a sober sport
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
