if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
