At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
two words: eviction party
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize