Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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