Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize