Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize