Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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