If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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