I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
