My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
