If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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