If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
