wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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