I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
