saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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