Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
