We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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