Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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