A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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