I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize