So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
