4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
foreskin is a definite game changer
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Randomize
