he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
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