You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
