I just threw up on my dentist
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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