Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
