Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
