What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
