i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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