Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i think my cat just said my name.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
