I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
