Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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